Destination Unknown

Right now, thousands of people are registering to run the Marine Corps Marathon this coming October. I envy them -- not because I want to run a marathon myself, but because I wish I had enough confidence in myself to know what I should be capable of accomplishing by the fall.

When I started running again in August, I assumed that I was on a one-way road to fitness again, and that surely I'd be in racing form sometime before winter hit. I hadn't picked out a specific race, but I did have a few in mind, and became increasingly discouraged as each one came and went without my participation. You see, even though I started running, I didn't manage to keep running, which is sort of essential to the whole "being in shape to race" thing.

Once I was ready to put my false start behind me and begin moving forward again, I decided that even though the fall was a bust, SURELY I'd be ready to race by the SPRING. That sounds perfectly reasonable, right? I even had a dream race all picked out! In a few weeks, that race will be run...without me. To say I'm disappointed about failing to meet this particular goal would be an understatement.

Now, it's possible my busted toe would have derailed my training for the Bridge Run anyway. And it was also possible all along that I might not have been able to afford the trip. Plus, dwelling on the disappointment is not going to help me meet any future goals. So once again I am putting a temporary failure behind me in order to move forward to my next success, but I'm taking a lesson with me as well.

From now on, until I have overcome all my issues with scheduling and energy and motivation, and have actually resumed running at least three times per week, I'm not going to focus on any particular event goal. Everything I'm aiming for will be conditional and vague. I trust that I will know when I am truly ready to commit to firmer goals.

So here is what I'm looking at in the big picture: IF I'm running consistently by the end of spring, THEN I hope to be able to complete a 5K sometime this summer. IF I complete a 5K this summer, THEN I hope to tackle a 10K in the fall or early winter. And IF I manage to resume swimming and start cycling sometime in the first half of the year, THEN I might attempt a sprint tri in early fall, but let's be real -- it probably won't happen until next spring.

As soon as I'm confident enough to make any of those goals more specific, you will be the first to know!

{Oh, and naturally if a miracle occurs and I make much faster progress than I'm expecting, I'm open to moving this whole timeline up. But, you know, pigs will be flying and the Mayans will be proven right, etc...}