I think I have to call this one a draw.
Initially, it was definitely a victory! Yesterday morning, my alarm went off, and as usual I was tempted to ignore it. I thought of the stress in my life, and felt how comfortable my bed was. Then I remembered all the soul-searching I'd done the night before about my past habits and patterns, and how badly I wanted to make a real change.
And I got up. And I ran.
It was a very slow run but I finished a mile (in quarter-mile increments, as usual). I felt proud of myself for fighting my inner demons and winning!!! But the victory was short-lived.
What unfolded the rest of the day was unexpected and amazing. The two biggest sources of stress in my life were resolved!! I am insanely grateful for the way things played out, and for the relief I now feel. My life isn't suddenly all roses, but the two things giving me the most grief are no longer doing so, and therefore I no longer have to choose between "fight" and "flight."
The reason I'm calling this a draw is that I don't know how long I'd have been able to keep up the fight if times had remained tough. Yesterday's run could have been an isolated incident, and I still could have reverted back to my old ways as stress continued. I am more optimistic about the possibilities for the future, though. Something stirred in me yesterday...an immense satisfaction from recognizing a problem and overcoming it, even if I only had a brief opportunity to do so. I definitely WANT to be able to do that again in the future...and right now I believe I can.
Life can throw whatever it wants at me now. I'm ready -- ready to FIGHT!!