Workouts this week: None
Total swim time: Zip
Total run/walk mileage: Zilch
Other workouts: Nada
Weight: 203 lbs
Total weight gained: 19 lbs
Despite setting no goals for the week and having really low expectations, I still managed to disappoint myself. I didn't even attempt to do any sort of exercise at all. What's worse, I entertained a lot of thoughts of just giving up on it completely.
I've been having a really rough time mentally and emotionally. The pregnancy hormones are wrecking havoc on me this time around. I get in these terrible moods for no good reason and none of my usual tricks can successfully lift my spirits. I'm equal parts irritable and weepy, and spend a lot of time hating the world just because.
The irony is that exercise is one thing that usually does work to improve my mood, but when my mood is at its worst, the last thing I want to do is exercise. If I could overcome the mood long enough to get a workout in, then the lasting effects could have me feeling better for a while. But I don't know a way to overcome the mood in the first place, to get to where I can make myself work out.
All week long I've thought about giving up on exercise for the remainder of my pregnancy. I don't really want to do that, but if I can't get a handle on my moods, that might just be what happens. I really wish I were better at all this pregnancy stuff (and with 3 kids already, you'd think I'd be a pro by now!), but the truth is I just suck at it. Some women ROCK at being pregnant. It suits them, physically, emotionally, etc. It does not suit me. Never has, and clearly never will.
Most days I just think about the future and hope that everything I learned last year will help me get in shape again when I have to start all over from scratch. The way things are going now, that's about the best for which I can hope. Sorry for all the negativity. That's just where I am right now.
I do still hope to try to exercise this week, but I honestly don't know what I'll be able to force myself to do. Next week's update might be as surprising to me as it is to you!