Monday, March 7, 2011

Number for Rent

You may recall how proudly I "owned my number" when my weight finally dropped below 200 lbs last year. Well, as of my most recent weekly weigh-in, I've hit 200 once again.

I know it's not a big deal. I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- I'm not obsessing over exactly how much weight I gain with this pregnancy. My focus is on staying fit and active, with the primary goal being getting back into shape as quickly as possible after the baby is born.

So the number on the scale doesn't really matter much. I've watched it climb slowly and haven't been bothered by it, until now. There is just something difficult to swallow about seeing my weight start with a "2" instead of a "1." After being over 200 for so long, and then working so hard to get under 200, it's not easy to go back over it, even knowing that it's temporary.

Hopefully this state of mind won't last. In a few weeks I should be used to seeing my weight keep climbing into the 200's, and it won't bother me anymore. I know I have a good bit more weight to gain, as the baby starts to grow more rapidly. This is normal, healthy, and GOOD, and I need to keep reminding myself that until it's not an issue messing with my head anymore!

What I want to be more cognizant of this time around is what happens to my weight after the baby arrives. Thanks to eating my way through the grief of losing my Dad, I actually gained weight after my last baby was born. My pre-pregnancy weight was just under 200 lbs, at 196, but when I finally decided to get back in shape, I was up to about 220, give or take. I don't want to go down that road again. Even if I don't start losing weight immediately postpartum, I at least want to keep it stable and not gain anything further at that point. I don't want to keep re-losing the same pounds over and over again!!

I'm committed to getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight at a steady and reasonable pace, but I have to say, it will be much easier if no one I love dies this time around...

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