Well HELLO there, my handful of devoted readers! Have you missed me much? It has been a long time, but I can explain...
Most of you know by now that I'm currently pregnant with my fourth child, due to arrive the last week of June. Yay! I found out the week of my 10K (so I technically ran that race pregnant, though I didn't have any real symptoms yet and felt completely normal). We decided to keep the news to ourselves until just last week, for personal reasons, so I haven't been able to blog about my experiences trying to stay fit while battling nonstop nausea and fatigue for most of November-January.
I did post about my Turkey Trot 5K, but didn't mention the morning sickness that threatened to keep me away. My "morning" sickness generally lasts all day, and the two days before Thanksgiving had been particularly brutal. I woke up that morning not knowing what to expect, but I was fortunate enough to be able to run the race without feeling too sick! In fact, my break from nausea lasted long enough for me to cook a whole turkey dinner that day, only really overwhelming me right before we ate. I'm very proud of myself for dealing with the cold wet weather, the fatigue, AND the possibility of the nausea appearing at any moment, to run that race. It ended up being my final pre-baby race, as I'm in no shape for long distances now, so I'm even more grateful that I was able to complete it.
After Thanksgiving, finding the motivation to exercise got harder and harder. Not only did I feel awful most of the time and barely have energy just to get through the day, but I also was overwhelmed with holiday tasks and squeezing in enough work hours by the end of the year. I only ran a few times in December, and didn't swim at all. January was only marginally better, as my first trimester pregnancy symptoms tend to linger a few weeks into the second tri. I did manage to run a little more and drag myself to the pool....once.
Psychologically, this experience has been a bit of a mess. I alternate between feeling frustrated and disappointed with myself, and wanting to cut myself some slack for doing the best that I can. In my previous pregnancies, I have not even attempted to exercise, so even the little that I've done has been a vast improvement!! I still strive to do better though, and will continue to try. For me, it's not an issue of keeping my weight gain down or looking great or even feeling good throughout the pregnancy. I actually hate being pregnant and I know I'm not going to feel good no matter how fit I try to be! All my efforts now are focused on making recovery quicker after the baby is born. I will have a repeat c-section, and will have 6 weeks post partum where the only exercise I'm allowed to do is walk. But once those 6 weeks have passed, I want to get back into running as quickly as I possibly can!! The better shape I stay in now, the easier it will be to get back into it then!! At least, that's what I'm hoping....
In case you are wondering about the Big Picture, I still have my long-term goals of running more races and eventually completing a triathlon. I've simply shifted it all a little further into the future. I hope to return to 5K's and 10K's as early as the fall, and I think I'm aiming for early summer 2012 for my first sprint distance triathlon. I do not see this pregnancy as an obstacle to overcome or a detour from my journey...it's all PART of the lifelong journey to good health. I'm sure I will have lots of philosophical musings about pregnancy and fitness, so be prepared for more frequent postings. I probably will also need to vent my frustrations some, since, as I mentioned, I really hate being pregnant, and I never have an easy time of it. You name a possible pregnancy symptom, and chances are I've had it at least once. To add insult to injury, I have a blood-clotting disorder which requires me to give myself daily injections for the whole nine months. Good times...good times.
I hope blogging will help me with my motivation issues. I've been to the pool once this week and plan to swim again tomorrow morning. So far I haven't talked myself into a run yet; I hope to get on the treadmill Saturday morning or sometime on Sunday. I could use some encouragement, so if you think you can handle all my hormonal whining, please join me on this part of my journey!!! Thanks! :)