Note: This is about my Sunday evening run. I meant to post about it on Monday, but it has just been a crazy busy week!
It was the best of runs; it was the worst of runs. Well, it started off the worst and didn't achieve "best" status until the end, but it's crazy how the same experience can feel like both opposite extremes!
I was in a terrible mood at the start. The run was already two days late (Friday night I was distracted by severe storms and my 4 year old interfered with my attempt at a nice outdoor run on Saturday), and came at the end of an exhausting weekend. I was feeling frustrated about pretty much everything in my life. You know me -- I can be a little melodramatic at times. ;-)
Anyway, I didn't even want to run. I was tired and feeling, well, whatever the opposite of "empowered" is. There just wasn't any fight in me at all. I've been at this long enough to know running has a strong mental component to it, and if your head's not in the game, chances are you're going to fade when your body tires. So I knew the run wasn't going to go well, and I was in no mood to fight my way through it.
But I tried anyway. I figured I'd just quit when I got tired.
I thought about quitting a lot, actually. During my walking warm-up, I thought "Maybe I'll just walk to get all my steps in, and not run at all."
And then I ran anyway. I figured I'd walk as soon as I got tired, and then maybe not run anymore.
Got tired, walked, ran again. Lather, rinse, repeat.
It took me about 45 minutes to run 15, and towards the end I was only running one minute at a time. The important thing is that I was still running. Not only did I finish my 15 minutes, but I ran the last two together in an effort to "finish strong." By then, the fight was back in me, and not just the fight but also the WIN.
Basically, it felt like I ran my first 5K all over again, only this time I did what I wish I'd done in that race: every single time I walked, I caught my breath, and I ran again. It was a painful, exhausting, miserable run, but because I kept at it, and never completely gave up, it ended up being one of my favorite runs ever!!!
I'd been feeling discouraged lately because my fitness progress has been coming along so slowly. My confidence was wavering. After Sunday's run, I felt strong and capable again for the first time in a while. And thanks to Sunday's run, tonight I was able to run a whole mile without walking, FINALLY, for the first time in over a year!!
I guess Sunday was just the best worst run ever.