Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Not What I Expected

Why does this feel so anticlimactic?

I've been waiting for this day for months. I imagined tears of joy as I stepped off the treadmill, free of pain. I mentally drafted Facebook status updates announcing my triumphant return to running. It was supposed to be such a sweet moment!

But last night, when I logged on after my run/walk workout, all I could type was "April...ran."

I was definitely happy to write it, and thankful that I could. The moment just lacked some degree of elation that I'd been expecting.

It wasn't a very intense workout. I ran a total of three minutes, broken into one-minute intervals (and also walked 27 minutes). It wasn't as difficult as starting from a completely sedentary lifestyle, but it certainly didn't feel like picking up where I left off either.

As I ran, I recalled the euphoria of finishing difficult runs in the first 20-minute run....then my first 25-minute run. It's hard to get excited about three minutes with those memories still so fresh in my mind. Getting back to that stage will take months!

Do I have that much fight in me? YES! I am in this for the long haul, still committed to my goals. I just need to adjust my outlook a little. I think maybe I was looking forward to running again as if it were the end of one stage of my journey, the injury-recovery stage. The truth is that it's also the beginning of next stage, and now is when the real work begins!

It's sort of like going directly from high school graduation to your first day of college. There would be no time to celebrate how far you've come because the road ahead is long and challenging and requires all of your focus and drive. So I survived three minutes of what? It's onward and upward from here. Well, more forward than upward, but you get the idea. :)

Oh, and if you're wondering, my leg held up fine. At one point I thought I felt a tiny twinge of pain in a familiar spot, but it passed quickly. It may have been all in my head...only time will tell!

1 comment:

  1. That is so hard!!!! It has to be so exciting to get back out and do it! Was it from shin splints? I am always battling injuries and I hate when they sideline my running. It will probably only take a couple of weeks and you will be back into form again.