On a (Slightly Painful) Roll {Weekly Summary}

Weight: 215 lbs.
Weekly Change: -3
Overall Change: -4 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.3 (obese) (using this calculator) (and just realized I've been using it incorrectly...I didn't realize you could enter fractions of inches in height, so I rounded my height up. heehee oops)
Waist Circumference: 38 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18
Total Workouts: 6!!! (but only 2 were runs)
Total Running Time: 30 min.
Total Running Distance: 2.5 miles
Longest Single Run: 15 min./1.25m (broken up with walking)
Progress on Training Plan(s): I'm starting Week 8 of this Couch to 5K program .
Progress in Sit Up/Push Up Challenge: Up to 32 push ups and 64 crunches
Highest Daily Step Count: 11,309
Injury Report: No real change with the busted toe, but I'm sad to report that now I'm experiencing leg pain in the same area where I had my stress fracture two years ago. That portion of my left leg has been more prone to pain than other places since then; I'm not sure if that's normal. This pain is worrying me because it feels very similar to the stress fracture, though not as severe. I'm going to start icing the spot after runs and after walking workouts as well, and I'll keep monitoring the pain. If it continues or worsens, I will have to take a break from running and see if it goes away. I really really really hope it doesn't come to that. :-(
Last Week's Goal(s): Man, I am NOT good at achieving my goals! Maybe there is something wrong with the goals I'm choosing? Maybe I'm trying to do too many things at once? I actually thought I had a pretty decent week, but I fell just short of most of my goals. I was short one run, short one day of 10,000 steps, and accidentally went four days without push ups or crunches. I did blog more, but not as much as I'd wanted. Biking didn't happen; eating only improved marginally, and I did not make a race decision.
Next Event Goal: (Still need to follow through on this decision!!) With less than a month left before the Semper Fi Fund 5K, I have an important decision to make. I know I will not be ready to run the whole thing in that time. I feel confident that I'll be able to run more than half of it by then, but I don't think I can hope for much better than that. So I need to decide if it's worthwhile to enter a race knowing that I won't be able to run the whole thing, or whether I'd prefer to save my money and wait until I actually can run 3.1 miles.
Next Week's Goals: I'm going to stick with the same goals this week, and if I fall short on most of them again, I will rethink them all next week! Three runs; hit 10,000 steps every day; only one day off from crunches/push ups at a time; start biking; blog more; eat better (vague, I know); make a decision about the Semper Fi 5K.

Analysis: So far, the walking challenge is still living up to my expectations! I have dragged myself down to the treadmill for a brisk walk many evenings when what I really wanted to so was sit on the couch and eat snacks. Not wanting to let my team down is much greater motivation for me than anything internal these days!! I don't know if it was the extra walking or the slight nutrition improvements, but my weight finally broke through the 216-pound threshhold! Now I'm just one pound away from my first mini-goal weight! I don't expect to reach that this week (for several reasons, not the least of which is the fact that this is a very cakey week in my world, and I am powerless to resist cake. Mmmmmm CAKE.), but maybe next week I'll be able to lose one more??? I think my reward for finally getting to 214 will be to download some new music. I never did go buy "Stronger" like I said I was going to...that might be a good reward!

My Life Would Suck Without Kelly {Inspiration of the Week}

I can't relate to people who don't run with music. I respect their focus and discipline, but I cannot fathom how they push themselves to keep going when they feel like giving up -- sometimes music is the only thing that helps me hang on!

My ipod holds a vast array of songs I love to run to, but tonight's shout-out goes to one of my favorites artists, Ms. Kelly Clarkson.

First I must confess that I did NOT watch the first season of American Idol, and I had serious doubts that the show could produce a legitimately talented star. And then I heard her on the radio for the first time, and I was blown away. I've been a fan ever since.

She has a lot of upbeat songs that sound great LOUD and thus make great background noise for running, such as "Since U Been Gone" or "I Do Not Hook Up." Last night, the end of a tough run was saved for me by the infectious "My Life Would Suck Without You." The lyrics have nothing to do with running at all, but the song is just so fun, with a pumped up beat that leaves me with no choice but to keep moving my feet! I am certain I would have had to walk at least three minutes sooner than I did last night if it weren't for that song. :)

Next on my agenda is to download her recent single, "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)," which I expect to have a similar affect on my feet. It may be about a bad break-up, but a lot of the lines can be interpreted metaphorically. And the basic message is pretty obvious -- what doesn't kill you does make you stronger, and that includes a tough workout!

I think I'll keep taking my good buddy Kelly running with me. I'm going to buy "Stronger" right now!

{Wordless Wednesday}

Walk for Your Life!! {Weekly Summary}

Weight: 218 lbs.
Weekly Change: +2
Overall Change: -1 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.3 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: 38 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18
Total Workouts: 3 (but only 2 were runs)
Total Running Time: 27 min.
Total Running Distance: 2.25 miles
Longest Single Run: 15 min./1.25m (broken up with walking)
Progress on Training Plan(s): I'm in Week 7 of this Couch to 5K program .
Progress in Sit Up/Push Up Challenge: Up to 29 push ups and 58 crunches
Highest Daily Step Count: 10,553
Injury Report: No increase in busted toe pain, and it's still not directly connected to running.
Last Week's Goal(s): The only goal I successfully completed was getting started in the walking challenge at work. Once again I had a week where I started out strong but it all fell apart over the weekend. Even the jogging stroller couldn't help me this time -- I just didn't make exercise a high enough priority.
Next Event Goal: With only a month left before the Semper Fi Fund 5K, I have an important decision to make. I know I will not be ready to run the whole thing in that time. I feel confident that I'll be able to run more than half of it by then, but I don't think I can hope for much better than that. So I need to decide if it's worthwhile to enter a race knowing that I won't be able to run the whole thing, or whether I'd prefer to save my money and wait until I actually can run 3.1 miles.
Next Week's Goals: Three runs; hit 10,000 steps every day; only one day off from crunches/push ups at a time; start biking; blog more; eat better (vague, I know); make a decision about the Semper Fi 5K.

Analysis: I'm mad at myself for failing to complete a third run, but I'm trying to focus on the positive rather than the negative, so instead I will discuss the walking challenge! So far it is doing exactly what I need it to -- it's getting me up and moving on the days when I don't run. Twice already I have hit 10,000 steps in a day, and I've logged some good walking time on the treadmill. I'm also just moving around more throughout the day in order to get as many steps in as possible so I don't have to spend quite as much time on the treadmill later. The key to my success is the structure of the challenge, because I'm part of a seven-person team. Even when I want to be lazy and I'm willing to fail myself, I'm going to push through those urges because I don't want to let the rest of my team down! This is just the motivation I need to get my butt in gear right now!!! And I really believe that once I'm getting SOME sort of exercise every day, the rest of it will all start to fall into place (the "rest of it" being the biking and swimming and weight loss, for starters). I guess we'll see in a week if I'm right and changes have begun to happen!

The Gift that Keeps on Giving {Weekly Summary}

Weight: 216 lbs.
Weekly Change: -2
Overall Change: -3 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.0 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: Forgot to measure but probably still 38.5 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18
Total Workouts: 3!!!
Total Running Time: 33 min.
Total Running Distance: 2.75 miles
Longest Single Run: 12 min./1.0m (broken up with walking)
Progress on Training Plan(s): I'm finishing Week 6 of this Couch to 5K program .
Progress in Sit Up/Push Up Challenge: Up to 26 push ups and 52 crunches
Injury Report: Increased pain in the busted toe; sometimes it throbs and other times there are these little prickly pains under the nail. The pain does not seem to correspond directly to running, so I'll continue to ignore it unless it gets worse.
Last Week's Goal(s): Half and half!! I FINALLY MANAGED TO RUN THREE TIMES IN ONE WEEK!!! Can you tell I'm a little excited at this accomplishment? :) And as predicted, it was the jogging stroller that helped make the third run possible: I took the baby with me to a nearby park while the rest of my guys were occupied at a t-ball game on Saturday. Seriously, the stroller was the best Mother's Day Gift ever!! My other success last week was not missing two consecutive days of my push ups and crunches. I'm finding it a lot easier not to do it EVERY day because the muscles get sore, but I'd at least like to do it every other day, and I'm finally settling into a routine like that. Not much progress to speak of with blogging or biking...better luck next week?
Next Event Goal: My perspective on this has changed a little for the moment. Instead of being excited about future races, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the idea of even attempting a race. Running is such a struggle right now and it feels like it is going to take forever to get into decent shape. I know I'll get there eventually; it's just that it feels so far off in the distance that it's not worth even thinking about races and such right now.
Next Week's Goals: Even though I accomplished the 3 runs and the consistent crunches & push ups, I want to repeat those goals this week. I'm also striving, again, for more blog posts, and sincerely hope to get working on the whole biking thing this weekend. There's one newbie to the goal list this week! I'm participating in yet another challenge (this is starting to become an addiction!). It's called the Global Corporate Challenge, and I'm on a team with six of my coworkers, trying to log the most steps every day for 16 weeks. This Thursday, I will strap on my super-stylish (and not at all annoying -- ha!) pedometer, and get moving! Hopefully this challenge will motivate me to add more exercise, even if it's just walking, on the days when I don't run. Until I get myself on the bike or back into the pool, I'm really not working out enough to lose weight or get fit as fast as I'd like, so anything that encourages cross-training is GOOD! Plus there are prizes, and my team is totally gonna win. :) For this week, my only GCC goals are to get ready (figure out how to operate the pedometer and navigate the website) and get started. Next week I'll have a better idea of some specific goals I'll want to set.

Analysis: Let's see, I can't remember if I mentioned that I FINALLY RAN THREE TIMES IN ONE WEEK!!! Oh, I did? My bad. Well, at least now you won't forget. I really wish it hadn't taken me so long to get to this point, but I can't dwell on that frustration anymore. Now it's time to focus on making three runs the default for every week unless I have a REALLY good reason to skip one. And I really need to branch out and add other exercise on my non-run days. I'm getting sick of losing and gaining the same two pounds over and over again. At first I wasn't really concerned with my weight because I wanted to focus on running and I knew the weight would eventually start to come off. Well, since I've been progressing so slowly with the exercise, nothing has really gotten going with the weight loss, and it's time to start worrying. I'm sick of still having to wear my "fat" clothes, and I'm sick of feeling flabby and huge and unattractive. It's time to start paying much more attention to the fuel I'm putting in my body, making healthier choices much more often than I have been. I think I've mentioned before that I don't "diet" -- the psychology of it just doesn't appeal to me or work for me. Instead I try to make good food choices *most* of the time, limit emotional eating to when I need it the most, and keep a general sense of moderation and balance in my diet. This approach requires constant self-control, a virtue that has been in short supply with me lately. I'm realizing I need to start working on that now if I ever want to start seeing results. I'm just not exercising enough to justify eating the way I do. Maybe I will add an item to the weekly update to address my eating progress. I'll think about that throughout the week and make a decision for the next summary.

New Wheels! {Weekly Summary}

Once again, I'm a couple of days late with this update...

Weight: 218 lbs.
Weekly Change: +2
Overall Change: -1 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.3 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: Forgot to measure but probably still 38.5 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18
Total Workouts: 3!!!
Total Running Time: 18 min.
Total Running Distance: 1.5 miles
Longest Single Run: 9 min./.75m (broken up with walking)
Progress on Training Plan(s): I'm finishing Week 5 of this Couch to 5K program .
Progress in Sit Up/Push Up Challenge: Up to 22 push ups and 44 crunches
Injury Report: No real change in the busted toe; still sore sometimes.
Last Week's Goal(s): Semi-succeeded at one of my goals -- I finally managed to exercise three times in one week!! Unfortunately, the 3rd workout ended up being a walk instead of a run, but it was a long one, up and down hills, pushing a stroller, so it was good exercise even if it didn't move me forward in my training program.
Next Event Goal: I'm starting to have some doubts about being ready for a 5K by the end of June, but I haven't entirely given up hope yet. Meanwhile, I've been looking at other events throughout the summer. I'm really looking forward to registering for my next race!
Next Week's Goals: All repeats: 3 runs, keeping up with my SU/PU challenge, more blog posts, and get bike working.

Analysis: Well I might not have succeeded at all of my stated goals, but I did do the general thing I wanted to this week, which was get back to normal after the craziness of my work deadline the week before. I'm thrilled finally to have accomplished the elusive third workout, and especially happy to have done it outdoors on the weekend. That feat was made possible by my awesome Mother's Day gift from the world's best husband -- my new jogging stroller was exactly what I wanted and needed to help me kick things up a notch! It's hard to get anything done around the house with four small children underfoot, so many tasks are reserved for the weekends when we are both around. If I slip away for a run when the kids are running amok, our plans for the day are likely to derail. Now with my new stroller, I can toss one of the younger two kids in, and maybe drag one or both of the older ones along on a scooter or bike, leaving less mayhem behind for my husband to deal with while he tries to be productive at home! So that's one less excuse that will be keeping me from exercise on the weekends. I hope to build on my excitement and really make some progress this week!

Something Beautiful {Inspiration of the Week}

I just stumbled across this quote I first found many months ago. I loved it so much that I emailed it to myself, and I referred back to the email almost daily when I was feeling frustrated or discouraged. Enjoy!


"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost."

— Helen Keller

Deadlines are Bad for Waistlines {Weekly Summary}

Weight: 216 lbs.
Weekly Change: -2
Overall Change: -3 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.0 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: Forgot to measure but probably still 38.5 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18
Total Workouts: 0
Total Running Time: N/A
Total Running Distance: N/A
Longest Single Run: N/A
Progress on Training Plan(s): I'm starting Week 5 of this Couch to 5K program .
Progress in Sit Up/Push Up Challenge: No new progress.
Injury Report: No real change in the busted toe; still sore sometimes.
Last Week's Goal(s): Failed on all my goals.
Next Event Goal: I'm not officially saying I'm definitely aiming for this race, but my friend Jack and I are discussing maybe reprising the fun the we had in the inaugural Semper Fi 5K. This year's event is June 30th. I'd love to be able to complete a 5K by then, but I'll probably wait another month before determining whether this is a realistic goal. Update: I REALLY need to get my butt in gear if this is going to be possible!!
Next Week's Goals: All repeats: 3 runs, keeping up with my SU/PU challenge, more blog posts, and get bike working.

Analysis: Work completely took over my life last week. Other than spending time with my family, all I really had time to do was work, eat, and occasionally sleep a little. (Okay, there was also some extra eating, junk food to be precise, in the wee hours of the morning to help me stay awake. It couldn't be helped!!) This week I'm planning to get my life back to normal and just pick up where I left off with everything, including exercise. I'm really motivated to get healthy right now. I'm sure I'll post more on this topic at some point, but this past week I was reminded how precious good health is. I can't control everything that happens to my body, but I'd like to make the most of what I can control to improve my odds of living a long, active life! Take care of yourself -- you're the only YOU you've got!!

Still Not Quite Getting It Done {Weekly Summary}

I'm two days late with the weekly update. Oops.

Weight: 218 lbs.
Weekly Change: +1
Overall Change: -1 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.3 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: Forgot to measure but probably still 38.5 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18 (20 is officially too big! not really losing weight, but somehow getting smaller...)
Total Workouts: 2
Total Running Time: 12 minutes
Total Running Distance: 1 mile
Longest Single Run: 6 min/.5 mile (no walking!)
Progress on Training Plan(s): I finished Week 4 of this Couch to 5K program .
Progress in Sit Up/Push Up Challenge: Up to 40 crunches and 20 push ups, but they're still "girl push ups"
Injury Report: No real change in the busted toe; still sore sometimes.
Last Week's Goal(s): Failed on all my goals but one (I did manage to blog more than once!).
Next Event Goal: I'm not officially saying I'm definitely aiming for this race, but my friend Jack and I are discussing maybe reprising the fun the we had in the inaugural Semper Fi 5K. This year's event is June 30th. I'd love to be able to complete a 5K by then, but I'll probably wait another month before determining whether this is a realistic goal. Update: I REALLY need to get my butt in gear if this is going to be possible!!
Next Week's Goals: Once again repeating the goal of 3 workouts (all runs, hopefully), and the goal of keeping up with my SU/PU challenge. My blog goal is to work on some of the posts I've had in mind for a while. And I'm going to try again to get my bike operational so I can start riding!

Analysis: The week started out great but it all came undone over the weekend. Sick kids, sick husband, work deadline -- life just got in the way, as it is wont to do. I'm sure there are people who can balance all these things better than I can, but I have yet to find the secret. This week has started off the same as the last ended, but I hope I'll be able to turn it around.

An Act of Defiance {Inspiration of the Week}

Confession: I have never seen Wicked. I desperately want to, but just haven't had the chance. I've heard some of the music, and somehow I know I will love the show whenever I finally see it!

Luckily, I don't have to wait until then to be inspired. Thanks to Glee, I've become familiar with "Defying Gravity," an incredibly uplifting song (oh yeah...pun totally intended!).

The lyrics can be applied to many different sorts of "leaps" you may take in your life, but tonight they proved especially motivational when I was on the treadmill. Right now, while I still weigh so much, it often feels like gravity is purposely working against me. Lifting my feet off the ground takes so much effort...sometimes I feel like I'd have just as much success trying to fly. Tonight this song helped me through my run and even helped me push myself to add an extra minute. As far as I'm concerned, I defied gravity!

Here is just a small sample of the awesome lyrics:

"I'm through accepting limits
'cause someone says they're so.
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know"

You can buy the Glee version of the song here, or the Wicked version here.

{Wordless Wednesday}

Motivation Continues to Build {Weekly Summary}

Weight: 217 lbs.
Weekly Change: N/A
Overall Change: -2 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.1 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: Forgot to measure but probably still 38.5 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18/20 (depends on the day)
Total Workouts: 2
Total Running Time: 3 minutes
Total Running Distance: .25 mile
Longest Single Run: 3 min/.25 mile
Progress on Training Plan(s): I am in Week 4 of this Couch to 5K program .
Status of Busted Toe: Still sore off and on. Did some research and realized it's probably going to take a really long time to heal completely. If the pain ever gets bad enough, I might consider getting it lanced to relieve the pressure. *shudder*
Last Week's Goal(s): Totally failed on all of my goals. I thought I might have a shot at getting three workouts in, but after hiking with a baby on my back on Saturday, my left ankle was really sore on Sunday and I decided to skip my run. I'm still not at the point yet where I'm tough enough to run through pain. And I'm still having lots of trouble remembering to do my crunches and push ups every day. Also you may have noticed that I've been slacking off big time on this blog.
Next Event Goal: I'm not officially saying I'm definitely aiming for this race, but my friend Jack and I are discussing maybe reprising the fun the we had in the inaugural Semper Fi 5K. This year's event is June 30th. I'd love to be able to complete a 5K by then, but I'll probably wait another month before determining whether this is a realistic goal. Update: I REALLY need to get my butt in gear if this is going to be possible!!
Next Week's Goals: Okay, THIS is the week when I will finally complete three runs! And I will remember my crunches and push ups nearly every day! And I will blog more than once!!! I probably ought to leave it at those three as-yet-unrealized goals, but there's one more thing I really want to do. We have a couple of bicycles in our shed that the previous owners of our home left behind. This week, I'd like to get one of those bikes out and do whatever needs to be done to get it functional, so I can start riding on the weekends as early as next week!

Analysis: It was a disappointing and frustrating week, but at least it further fueled my motivation. Getting so worn out from hiking reminded me of one of the big reasons I want to get fit. I love hiking, and I want our family to do active things together on the weekends. Once upon a time, I could survive an all-day hike, but now I end up exhausted and sore after about an hour. That's just not acceptable to me, not what I want for my life. Even if my progress continues to be slow, I WILL keep working toward my goals so I can have the energy and strength to enjoy an active lifestyle for many years to come!

Object in Motion {Weekly Summary}

Weight: 217 lbs.
Weekly Change: +1
Overall Change: -2 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.1 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: 38.5 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18/20 (depends on the day)
Total Workouts: 2
Total Running Time: 12 minutes
Total Running Distance: 1 mile
Longest Single Run: 6 min/.5 mile (broken up with some walking)
Progress on Training Plan(s): I finished Week 3 of this Couch to 5K program .
Status of Busted Toe: It's been hurting kind of a lot. I'm not sure whether to be concerned. I'll do a little research on that and then possibly write a post about it later this week.
Last Week's Goal(s): For the second week in a row, I successfully completed two walk/run workouts. Yay! But I did not manage to maintain my daily crunches and push ups. It's not laziness -- I just keep forgetting. I think I need to come up with a particular time to do it or set up some sort of reminder, because I forget as often as I remember. And once again, I did not devote any time to working ahead on blog posts, other than just thinking of the topics I'd like to cover this week.
Next Event Goal: I'm not officially saying I'm definitely aiming for this race, but my friend Jack and I are discussing maybe reprising the fun the we had in the inaugural Semper Fi 5K. This year's event is June 30th. I'd love to be able to complete a 5K by then, but I'll probably wait another month before determining whether this is a realistic goal.
Next Week's Goals: I really wanted to kick it up a notch and try for 3 runs this week, but looking ahead at our family's schedule, I don't know if that will be possible unless I run on consecutive days (which I generally try not to do). I haven't decided what to do about that yet. At the very least, I will still aim for 3 workouts, but one of them might be yoga or a fitness DVD or something instead of a run. I'm also going to take another stab at the goal of not missing more than one day in a row of my crunches and push ups (and part of that goal will be coming up with a strategy for not forgetting!!). My blog goal will be to post at least 3 new entries, including this one.

Analysis: As predicted, my weight went up this week, but only by one pound! I'm pretty pleased with that. The next step is making sure that extra pound disappears again quickly. I'm enjoying my runs, but getting frustrated at how difficult it is just to complete such a short time/distance. I miss being able to run 2 or more miles no problem. I know I'll get back there, and running will start to feel easier at some point, but I also know I need to be running 3 days a week to really build up my fitness and stop struggling. One positive note: the stair climbing challenge at work ended, but I think it served its purpose in my life. I'm definitely up and moving more both at work and at home, and being more active in small ways is making me want to be more active in bigger ways too! I think I'm starting to turn inertia in my favor!!

A Little Behind {Weekly Summary}

This is for last week, April 2-8. I was out of town through Tuesday night and I'm still playing catch up and trying to get back to normal!

Weight: 216 lbs.*
Weekly Change: -1
Overall Change: -3 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.0 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: Forgot to measure, but probably still 39 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18/20 (depends on the day)
Total Workouts: 2
Total Running Time: 9 minutes
Total Running Distance: 3/4 mile
Longest Single Run: 6 min/.5 mile (broken up with some walking)
Progress on Training Plan(s): I'm in Week 3 of this Couch to 5K program .
Total Flights of Stairs: 60
Status of Busted Toe: Not much change from last week. Still healing slowly. Feels sore sometimes.
Last Week's Goal(s): Success!! Since I managed to get in a workout while I was on vacation, I completed 2 workouts last week! Yay!! However, I did not do any push ups or crunches once I was on vacation, so my goal success rate for the week was 50%.
Next Event Goal: Starting to get anxious to choose an event, so I REALLY need to get my butt in gear!!
Next Week's Goals: Okay the week is already half over, so I'm not going to get too ambitious. I want to repeat two workouts, and ideally they'll both be runs so I can complete week 3 of my training program. Today is the last day of the stair climbing challenge, so I won't be setting any goals with that other than just generally to continue taking the stairs more often than I did before the challenge started. I'd like to resume my push ups and crunches and not miss any more days this week. And I'd like to work ahead on some blog posts for next week.

Analysis: First of all, I have to confess that I weighed myself a day earlier than usual, before I left for my trip. After vacationing down South and celebrating a holiday, I fully expect the scale to show a much larger number tomorrow. I'm not worried about it, as long as the number goes back down next week. As for exercise, I'm proud of myself for going for a run on vacation. I wish I'd done it twice, but once is better than not at all! I discovered that running on country roads is a little scarier than suburban sidewalks, but the clean air was so refreshing to breathe! Man, I've missed running outside. I hope I get more chances to do that soon! I guess I don't have much else to say by way of analysis. Like I said, I'm still trying to get caught up on regular life. My next weekly summary will probably not have much to analyze either, though I'll at least do some more planning and goal-setting then. For now I'm just going to focus on getting my butt back on the treadmill tonight!

Still Here {Weekly Summary}

Weight: 217 lbs.
Weekly Change: None
Overall Change: -2 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.1 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: Forgot to measure, but probably still 39 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18/20 (depends on the day)
Total Workouts: 1
Total Running Time: 3 minutes
Total Running Distance: 1/4 mile
Longest Single Run: 3 min/.25 mile
Progress on Training Plan(s): I'm still in Week 2 of this Couch to 5K program .
Total Flights of Stairs: 76
Status of Busted Toe: Not much change from last week. Still healing slowly.
Last Week's Goal(s): Failure all around. One workout. Only 2 more flights of stairs than last week. Missed two days of crunches and push ups right at the beginning of the week. I didn't even work on the blog like I'd hoped to do.
Next Event Goal: Starting to get anxious to choose an event, so I REALLY need to get my butt in gear!!
Next Week's Goals: It's hard to set goals for this week because I'll be going on a trip. I feel like I have to keep shooting for two workouts until I actually achieve that, so I guess that again will be my goal. I have no idea how many stairs I'll be climbing so I'm not setting a goal for that. I'll repeat my goal of not skipping more than one day at a time of crunches and pushups. I'm not setting a blog goal because I have no idea how much time I'll be spending on or near my computer.

Analysis: I'm getting increasingly frustrated with myself, but still I refuse to give up. I mean, what else can I do? I'm not going to throw in the towel and just embrace being obese and out of shape. That's not the life that I want. I want my active life back, no matter how difficult it is to change all my bad habits (again). I'm not going to spend a bunch of negative energy beating myself up. I'm just going to keep.on.trying. Every day. Every week. As long as it takes.

Jackpot!! {Five Things Friday}

You don't care what I'd do with $640 million if I won it. I'm going to tell you anyway.

5 Healthy Things I'd Do With My Lottery Winnings:

1. Quit my job, so I'd have lots more time for exercise and active pursuits. (And also because DUH, I'm pretty sure in Lottery 101 they teach you that the first thing you're supposed to do after you've verified that you have in fact won is Quit.Your.Job.)

2. Hire a triathlon coach. I'm pretty sure I could make a lot more progress toward my goals if I had somoeone bossing me around 24/7 like it's their job. Because, well, it would be their job.

3. Hire a personal chef to prepare super healthy foods for my family. I love my husband's cooking, but I don't think he'd mind giving up that responsibility to someone else.

4. Buy a bike. I'm probably going to want to do this at some point even if I don't win the lottery, because I imagine it's difficult to complete the cycling portion of a triathlon without one.

5. Buy a new house with its own swimming pool large enough for lap swimming. That way I can't use inconvenient "hours of operation" as an excuse not to go to the pool, and I don't have to be self-conscious about better swimmers watching me flail around like a whale in shallow water!!

5 UNhealthy Things I'd Do With My Lottery Winnings:

1. Celebrate with copious amounts of cake.

2. Celebrate with copious amounts of alcohol.

3. Go on vacation, where I will celebrate with even more food and booze.

4. Hire someone to watch my kids during the day so the hubs and I can catch up on all the sleep we've lost since becoming parents 6.5 years ago. (Sleep is actually healthy...but I'd be happy to get TOO MUCH of it for a little while!!!)

5. Buy a bakery, so I can continue to celebrate with cake for many years to come.

Hmmm....it's possible that it would be healthier for me not to win....but I'm buying a few tickets anyway!

Not My Best Work {Weekly Summary}

Weight: 217 lbs.
Weekly Change: -1
Overall Change: -2 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.1 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: Forgot to measure, but probably still 39 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18/20 (depends on the day)
Total Workouts: 1
Total Running Time: 3 minutes
Total Running Distance: 1/4 mile
Longest Single Run: 3 min/.25 mile
Progress on Training Plan(s): I'm currently in Week 2 of this Couch to 5K program .
Total Flights of Stairs: 74
Status of Busted Toe: The broken part continues to grow out, slowly but surely, and the discolored area continues to spread. I really hope that part IS going to heal eventually!!
Last Week's Goal(s): Fell short on both of my exercise goals. I only had one workout (but it was great!), and I only climbed 74 flights of stairs. I did reach my blog goal though, when I posted a photo of the gimpy toe on Wordless Wednesday.
Next Event Goal: Still not ready to choose a specific event, so sticking with the vague goal to be in 5K shape by this summer. I'm starting to look into some races, so I really need to get my butt in gear so I can set some attainable goals!
Next Week's Goals: Okay, AGAIN I am aiming for just TWO workouts. I think I'm going to punish myself somehow if I can't manage this. And since I failed to reach 100 flights of stairs, I'll repeat that as my weekly goal as well. This week I'll set a third exercise goal, to keep up with my crunches and push ups. I started that little challenge last week, did three days, then missed two days, then got back into it yesterday. My goal for this week is to miss no more than one day in a row (if I have to miss any). My blog goal for this week is to start working ahead on some posts for future weeks, so that I'm not always trying to get a whole post written from start to finish every day.

Analysis: Eh, it was an off week. I'll spare you the litany of excuses, but basically there were a bunch of small obstacles that individually were not too terrible, but when piled on top of each other really slowed me down. Assuming I don't catch my son's stomach virus, I'm optimistic that this will be a much better week! Oh, and on the bright side, my one workout included a short run, and it felt great! I can't wait to do it again!

Gone Running, Back Later {Inspiration of the Week}

"You either ran today, or you didn't."

That's the tagline of one of my favorite Facebook pages. I love it because the message is so simple and true, and there is no judgement in it. You are free to feel however you want about whichever option is your reality on any given day.

Some days the line induces guilt, as I realize my excuses are lame and don't really matter. Other days I am confident that my reasons for not running are legitimate, but then I'm reminded that the end result is still the same: a day that I didn't run is a day that I didn't run, regardless of the reason. And of course there are days when I DID run, and when I see that quote I feel proud of myself! Still other days, the line is a reminder that the day is not yet over, and I still must choose what kind of day it's going to be. There's a lot of possible meaning in that short little sentence!

The Facebook page is called "I *heart* to run," and I think I found it via a friend who is also a runner. Everyday it posts inspirational quotes and pictures, and nearly all of them resonate with me to some degree. I'm tempted to post their quotes all over the walls of my basement where my treadmill is, to help me keep going when I struggle.

There is more to the page than inspirational quotes, too! Each day they give away a "Gone Running" sign, and they also have a link to their website that is an online fundraising platform. See their "About" section for more info.

If you're a runner and you're not already a fan of "I *heart* to run", I suggest you become one ASAP!

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with "I *heart* to run" in any way. I'm simply one of many FB fans who appreciate the ways the page speaks to us, and I want to share that inspiration with any of my friends who haven't been exposed to it yet!

NOTE: The name of the page actually uses a "less than" symbol and a 3 to make the heart, but when I type that here, it gets all screwed up due to html. I am not savvy enough to know how to work around that problem, so I'm just replacing it with *heart*. If you click the link to the FB page, you will see the title correctly written. :)

{Wordless Wednesday}

Feeling Crunchy {Tuesday Tips}

Since my running is getting off to a very slow start, and I'm not yet ready to get back in the pool, I'm looking for other ways to get myself moving and getting fit. The stair climbing challenge is helping me battle my laziness and is giving my legs a great workout! Now I need something to help with my upper body and my core.

I've seen some mentions on message boards about various sit up and push up challenges, and decided to give those a shot. I'm going to start out with just one of each, and add one more each day until I build up to a specific number. I think the goals will be 200 sit ups and 100 push ups daily, because a lot of challenges have those numbers as their goals. Actually, I might increase my sit ups by 2 each day, so I can arrive at both goals at the same time. I hope that won't be too difficult to keep track of -- I'll have to write it on a calendar or something.

The reason I'm posting this in "Tuesday Tips" is that I'm curious how people do sit ups these days. As I recall, over the years, various "experts" have taught different ways to do them, because some ways are not as good for your back or your neck, and some are more effective than others, etc. And for a while there, wasn't everyone calling them crunches instead of sit ups? Or are those two distinct moves? The last time I was doing crunches regularly, I was doing them on an exercise ball, which was challenging but not painful. I liked that method and will probably try that again, unless I learn a good reason to do something different.

How do you do sit ups or crunches, and why? Is there a "right" way to do them, or is it a matter of preference? Thanks for your insight!

Mediocrity at its Best {Weekly Summary}

Weight: 218 lbs.
Weekly Change: -3
Overall Change: -1 from "starting weight" of 219
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.3 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: 39 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 18/20 (depends on the day)
Total Workouts: 1
Total Running Time: N/A
Total Running Distance: N/A
Longest Single Run: N/A
Progress on Training Plan(s): I've completed Week 1 of this Couch to 5K program .
Total Flights of Stairs: 90
Status of Busted Toe: Made some visible progress! The detached portion moved far enough that I could safely clip it off without leaving too much tender flesh exposed. Meanwhile, the discolored area under the nail is getting larger. I have no idea if that is a bad sign or a normal part of the healing process. It hurts when I'm on my feet too much, but it's starting to look a lot better. I'm thinking of posting a pic this week.
Last Week's Goal(s): Half and half: I only worked out once, but I increased my number of flights of stairs from 72 to 90 (the goal was just 80). I don't mind batting .500 when my one hit is a solid one like that. :) Oh, and I did achieve my one non-exercise goal as well, which was to keep up my frequent blogging. I even came up with a structure to help me write more often. Yay!
Next Event Goal: Still not ready to choose a specific event, so sticking with the vague goal to be in 5K shape by this summer.
Next Week's Goals: Looks like once again I need to aim for two workouts. As usual, I'm having trouble finding the time to walk/run, so I need to start incorporating some of my fitness DVD's so I can be doing some kind of exercise when when I can't walk/run. I'm going to up the ante in my stair climbing challenge as well, and aim for 10 more flights for a total of 100! I might as well choose another blog goal too: this week, I'd like to publish at least one post that includes pictures.

Analysis: As expected, the 2 lbs I gained last week turned out to be temporary bloat, and I was happy to see it disappear. I hope the additional pound lost was for real though...only time will tell. I'm a little frustrated with myself for only doing one workout, especially when Saturday was such a gorgeous day! I did manage to get out and play with my kids and enjoy the sunshine, but I really should have made the time for a walk/run as well. I climbed a whole lotta stairs, and I'm pretty pleased about that. Oh, and I did something else good for my health too, when I went to the dentist. Overall, it was a decent week, but it still leaves plenty of room for improvement!

My Corniest Obsession {Friday FOOD}

Life has been rough ever since I gave up late night desserts. My sweet tooth is very angry at me, and I must confess that sometimes I placate it by cramming cookies or something into my mouth at 8:55 (I set 9pm as the official cut-off for dessert). Breaking a bad habit can be an ugly process.

My saving grace on these long, hungry nights has been microwave popcorn, in little individual 100-calorie bags of perfection. We buy them in bulk at Costco. (We have four sons...pretty soon we'll be buying everything in bulk at Costco!) Each bag is just the right size for a light, reasonably healthy late-night snack. I eat it almost every night, and though it doesn't satisfy my craving for something sugary, it does keep me from ransacking the kitchen for junky alternatives.

In an ideal world, I'd eat something REALLY healthy at night, like veggies or fruit. I'm happy to snack on those during the day, but at night they are the last things I want. So right now, popcorn is my best friend!

What are your favorite semi-healthy snacks?

Memory Lane {Inspiration of the Week}

Yesterday I told you my inspiration posts would be interesting because they wouldn't be about me. Today I'm going to kick things off by writing about....me. Yep, I'm a big ol' liar and cannot be trusted.

The thing is, I have lots of ideas for this theme, because I'm always seeing or hearing something that inspires me, but the biggest thing motivating me this week is this very blog. A few days ago, I read back through the first year or so of posts, and got caught up in my own story. I remembered what each success and failure felt like, and became reacquainted with my drive to keep pushing onward, keep overcoming obstacles, keep making dreams come true.

I'm just an ordinary person; my story isn't too remarkable. But as time goes by and circumstances change, sometimes we lose little bits of ourselves along the way. It can be nice to rediscover the best parts of ourselves and revisit lessons we have learned so we can apply them again and again.

Here are some of my favorite old posts that are inspiring me today:
To Dream the Improbable Dream
An Olympic Spirit
The Heart of a Winner
Where It All Began
Head First
Head Games
Sweet Success
So Good, it's SCARY

These posts get me all pumped up and eager to race again! This is just the boost I need when I'm about to start running again any day now!!

Ch-Ch-Changes

Change is afoot here at Might As Well Tri!

As I'm gearing up to fully embrace the active lifestyle again, I'm starting to rely on this blog as a motivating factor. The more I write, the more I want to do things so that I'll have even more topics to cover! In order to keep that momentum going, I'm going to create a little more structure here so it will be easier for me to organize my thoughts.

Basically, I'm going to assign a topic or theme to each day of the week (and in some cases it will be multiple themes that will rotate according to circumstances or my mood). Then, any time I think of something I'd like to write about, I'll figure out which theme fits best, and create a post in that format for that day.

Now, I'm a little rebellious by nature, and sometimes I enjoy having structure in place just so I can deviate from it. If I ever have a post that I'm dying to publish, but it doesn't fit into any of my established themes, I'm just going to post it anyway. I also might blend categories together, or mix up the days, or make any other changes that strike my fancy in the moment. The idea isn't to limit my creativity, but rather to help me sharpen up some of my ramblings. I like to color both inside and outside the lines.

Here are my planned themes:
MONDAY: Summary of the previous week (I have already started this. In addition, once I resume racing, I will probably post race reports on Mondays as well.)
TUESDAY: Tuesday Tips (I've tried this feature before and appreciated the helpful feedback I received. This time I will occasionally give tips of my own in addition to asking for advice.)
WEDNESDAY: Wordless/Wordy Wednesdays (Bloggers have been using the Wordless Wednesday theme for years, and I think it's pretty cool. It will be a challenge for me, as I'm much better expressing myself with LOTS AND LOTS OF WORDS (shocking, I know) than with little to none. I'm not sure if I'll be any good at taking and posting the pictures, but I will do my best. And since it will probably make me a little twitchy trying to express myself without words, I'll post the occasional WORDY post to balance it all out. Anytime I find that I have a whole lot to say on a topic, I'll save that post for a Wednesday.)
THURSDAY: Inspiration of the Week (Here I will share quotes, songs, stories, people, etc. that inspire me. These might end up being the most interesting posts of all, because they will rarely be about me. ;-) )
FRIDAY: Funny/Food/Five Things (I'm a little indecisive about what I want to post on Fridays, but I know it needs to be entertaining. No one wants to read boring or serious stuff while they're watching the clock and getting psyched up to start the weekend!! I love to eat and I love to laugh, so it makes sense to include both of those general ideas on Fridays. I also like the idea of posting fun lists of five things...and those five things could overlap with the food, the funny stuff, or any of the other categories I cover. Or really any random topic at all. The sky's the limit! This is the theme I am both most excited and most doubtful about. Though I love to read little lists, I'm not sure if I'll be clever enough to come up with good ones of my own. If not, then I guess be on the lookout for even more jokes and recipes.)
SATURDAY: Saturday Shopper (Just like Tuesday Tips, I've tried this feature before and appreciated the feedback, so I'll introduce it again, and this time add some of my own suggestions in addition to asking for recommendations.)
SUNDAY: Spirituality (Don't worry, this isn't going to morph from a fitness blog into a religion blog. In fact, most of the time I will probably take Sunday off from blogging...you know, day of rest and all that. But I do consider my spiritual health to be just as important, if not more so, than my physical, emotional, and mental health, so to the extent that I have any faith-based thoughts to share, I will publish those posts on Sundays.)

As always, I appreciate your comments and welcome your questions. Though I write primarily for myself, the whole point of making it public is to connect with other people who might relate to me in some way. If any of this new structure fails to resonate with my readers, I'd like to know so I can determine whether it's worthwhile to continue. And on the flip side, if any particular feature is incredibly popular with you, I might try to focus more of my energy in that area. So please keep me posted on what you like or don't like! Thanks!

Pearly Whites (Tuesday Tips: Preventive Care)

As part of my "big picture" approach to health, I'm patting myself on the back for going to the dentist this morning.

Most people probably think going to the dentist is no big deal, but not too long ago I actually went nine whole years without going!! I never did like the experience much, and didn't know how to go about finding a dentist once I moved to the DC area, so I just...didn't go. Oops?

What finally motivated me to start getting my teeth cleaned again was parenthood. We had started taking the kids to the dentist regularly, and I felt like a giant hypocrite insisting that they endure something I was unwilling to endure myself. So I discovered a very friendly dentist who is an active member of our church community, and got my dental health back on track. Luckily my years away hadn't done any damage. I did have to get some old fillings replaced (and will need to replace them all eventually), but otherwise my teeth have been in great shape. I missed one dental appointment last summer when my baby was still new and working around his eating/sleeping schedule was next-to-impossible, but today I resumed my twice-yearly appointments.

Now that my teeth have been taken care of for the time being, I can move on to several other appointments I'd like to make this year in order to improve or maintain my health. I need to find a general practioner I can go to for ordinary ailments (like if I were to get bronchitis again or something), and I also really need to see a dermatologist. I want to be more proactive about various types of preventive care, in the hopes of avoiding treatments in the future!

What types of preventive care do you do or recommend?

Bad Two, Good Two (Weekly Summary)

Weight: 221 lbs.
Weekly Change: +2
Overall Change: +2
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.7 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: 39.25 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 20
Total Workouts: 2
Total Running Time: N/A
Total Running Distance: N/A
Longest Single Run: N/A
Progress on Training Plan(s): I've done 2 days of Week 1 of this Couch to 5K program .
Total Flights of Stairs: 72
Status of Busted Toe: Still healing very slowly. I'm paranoid that the huge broken section will catch on something and rip completely off. *shudder* (not much change from last week)
Last Week's Goal(s): Success! I did my minimum of one workout, and then doubled my goal by doing a second workout! And I increased my flights of stairs by 27, which is quite a bit more than 5. Of course, that was pretty easy to do since the first week of the stair challenge was not a full seven days!
Next Event Goal: As I mentioned last week, I'm not selecting a particular event until I'm ready, so my current vague goal is just to be in 5K shape by this summer.
Next Week's Goals: After successfully completing two workouts in a week, I'm tempted to get ambitious and shoot for three this time, but I'm going to exercise a little self-restraint. I need to be building confidence by setting and achieving small goals, and build slowly from there. So this week my goal will be simply to match last week's two workouts (though one of them should be running, busted toe permitting). My stair challenge goal will be to add 8 more flights for a nice, round 80. A third goal I'd like to add is to keep the momentum going with this blog. I've started posting more and I love it! Even though I haven't been getting much feedback, writing frequently is still helpful to me because it keeps health and fitness issues on my mind. I'm more likely to make an effort at good habits if I'm thinking about them, so I'm forcing myself to stay mindful by writing! I have a lot of ideas for more topics to cover and features to try out, and I don't want to get too distracted by March Madness!! I need to spend at least as much time blogging this week as I do filling out and following my brackets. :)

Analysis: Yes, I gained 2 lbs this week, but I'm not going to dwell on that. I'm pretty sure it's just temporary bloat and not a true gain, so I'm not going to worry about it unless/until the extra weight is still there at the end of this week as well. Meanwhile, I'm going to focus on the more important "2" from last week, which is the number of workouts! I'm proud of myself for getting moving, and hoping these were the first steps of a long journey and not just another false start! One source of motivation right now is the gorgeous early spring weather -- the warm air and sunshine make me want to get outside and be active! Yesterday I tossed my 3-year-old in the stroller and went for a brisk walk outside, and it felt amazing! I'm not sure I would have been as driven to hop on the treadmill...

What I Kneed

Runner's World Magazine posted this funny photo on Facebook this week. It really struck a nerve with me (hardy har har), because I'd already been thinking of posting about my poor knees. I only wish I were feeling the aches of distance running! Instead, my knees are just suffering from having way too much weight on them.

The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons has done tests on how obesity negatively affects the knees. Most of those tests were done on the "morbidly" obese (BMI greater than 45), and I don't fall into that category. However, simple logic tells me that ANY extra weight on a joint is going to cause extra strain on that joint as well.

Right now, my knees don't bother me when I just walk around. I've only noticed pain lately because I've been going up and down stairs more, and THAT is when they hurt. It's not a severe pain, but rather a frequent reminder that there is work to be done. I'd like to be climbing stairs with ease well into old age. In order to have healthy knees then, I need to take care of them now.

The good news is that the journey has begun once again -- I got on the treadmill last night! Maybe I can break out of the vicious cycle of laziness, and start a new, more benevolent cycle, wherein the stair climbing reminds me that I need to walk/run, and the walking/running leads to weight loss and stronger knees, in turn leading to easier trips up and down the stairs. Doesn't that sound nice?

Destination Unknown

Right now, thousands of people are registering to run the Marine Corps Marathon this coming October. I envy them -- not because I want to run a marathon myself, but because I wish I had enough confidence in myself to know what I should be capable of accomplishing by the fall.

When I started running again in August, I assumed that I was on a one-way road to fitness again, and that surely I'd be in racing form sometime before winter hit. I hadn't picked out a specific race, but I did have a few in mind, and became increasingly discouraged as each one came and went without my participation. You see, even though I started running, I didn't manage to keep running, which is sort of essential to the whole "being in shape to race" thing.

Once I was ready to put my false start behind me and begin moving forward again, I decided that even though the fall was a bust, SURELY I'd be ready to race by the SPRING. That sounds perfectly reasonable, right? I even had a dream race all picked out! In a few weeks, that race will be run...without me. To say I'm disappointed about failing to meet this particular goal would be an understatement.

Now, it's possible my busted toe would have derailed my training for the Bridge Run anyway. And it was also possible all along that I might not have been able to afford the trip. Plus, dwelling on the disappointment is not going to help me meet any future goals. So once again I am putting a temporary failure behind me in order to move forward to my next success, but I'm taking a lesson with me as well.

From now on, until I have overcome all my issues with scheduling and energy and motivation, and have actually resumed running at least three times per week, I'm not going to focus on any particular event goal. Everything I'm aiming for will be conditional and vague. I trust that I will know when I am truly ready to commit to firmer goals.

So here is what I'm looking at in the big picture: IF I'm running consistently by the end of spring, THEN I hope to be able to complete a 5K sometime this summer. IF I complete a 5K this summer, THEN I hope to tackle a 10K in the fall or early winter. And IF I manage to resume swimming and start cycling sometime in the first half of the year, THEN I might attempt a sprint tri in early fall, but let's be real -- it probably won't happen until next spring.

As soon as I'm confident enough to make any of those goals more specific, you will be the first to know!

{Oh, and naturally if a miracle occurs and I make much faster progress than I'm expecting, I'm open to moving this whole timeline up. But, you know, pigs will be flying and the Mayans will be proven right, etc...}

Second Verse, Same as the First (Weekly summary)

Weight: 219 lbs.
Weekly Change: None
Overall Change: None
Next goal weight: 214
BMI: 31.4 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: 39 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 20
Total Workouts: 0
Total Running Time: 0
Total Running Distance: 0
Longest Single Run: N/A
Progress on Training Plan(s): Still trying to start this Couch to 5K program again.
Total Flights of Stairs: 45
Status of Busted Toe: Still healing very slowly. I'm paranoid that the huge broken section will catch on something and rip completely off. *shudder*
Last Week's Goal(s): Well I only had one goal (to do one walking workout), and I didn't meet it, so I didn't get off to the best start. However, participating in the Take the Stairs Challenge definitely helped me get moving more when I'm not fully engaged in a workout. I've already started taking extra trips up and down the stairs in my home!
Next Event Goal: None yet, though my post about goals should be coming this week!
Next Week's Goals: If at first you don't succeed, yadda yadda. My goal for this week once again will be to do JUST ONE walking workout. I'd love to do more, but I will be satisfied with one. My secondary goal will be to walk 5 more flights of stairs than last week. I would aim for a bigger increase than that, but I'm not yet sure what is reasonable to expect.

Analysis: I'm a little surprised that I didn't meet my goal for the week, because I felt pretty motivated and excited about getting started. I lost track of how many times I almost squeezed in a walk, before getting distracted by a child or another urgent task. On the bright side, I got a lot of other important things accomplished last week (like registering my kids for the next school year, and filing our taxes), so it wasn't simply laziness that kept me from exercising. Life is always full of responsibilities, and parenting is all about meeting other people's pressing needs. My natural inclination is to sacrifice myself for the people who depend on me, and I won't be ashamed of that because I believe it's what I should do. However, I do need to work on not completely neglecting myself either. After all, I'm no good to my family if I am not healthy enough to take care of them properly! So my challenge, as always, is making my health a higher priority than it usually is.

Step by Step

In the battle of April vs. Inertia, this week I have launched an assault that hopefully will get some momentum building on my side. I've decided to participate in a "Take the Stairs Challenge" at work, in which I will log the number of flights of stairs I climb each day. This will make me eligible to win prizes and such, but the prize I'm really aiming for is a new state of mind.

During my typical work day, I don't really go anywhere, so I'm trying to park on a different floor in the garage to add some more stairs there, and I might skip the elevator to my office in the mornings too. Today I actually left the building briefly at lunch time, and managed to rack up MANY more flights than usual, and boy did I feel the burn (in my lungs more than in my legs). That's definitely atypical for me though.

The place I plan to make the most changes is at home. I live on a three-level house, but do most of my living on the main level. The upstairs is where my two oldest kids sleep, and the basement holds the playroom and my neglected treadmill. I've gotten into the lazy habit of only going up or down the stairs if I absolutely have to. It's a habit I legitimately developed while I was hugely pregnant, and legitimately continued while I was recovering from my c-section, but now have no legitimate excuse to continue any further. I need to get in the healthier habit of GETTING OFF MY ASS, if you'll pardon my crassness.

I figure if I force myself to take several extra trips upstairs or down to the basement each day while I'm participating in this challenge, I can shift my state of mind from indulging the sedentary lifestyle to embracing the more active one. In my experience, exercise begets more exercise, so the more I'm moving all around my house, the more I'll want to keep doing so. And if I'm going down to the basement anyway, I might as well hop on the treadmill for a bit while I'm there, right?

Busted!

Today is your lucky day. I was planning to post pictures of my nasty mangled toe, but I decided it was too cruel to do to you kind folks who endure my pointless ramblings and provide me with so much encouragement and support! So thank you, and you're welcome.

You may be wondering what mangled toe I'm talking about. It's my left big toe, and it's the reason I haven't even attempted to run in the past month. The scary thing is that I don't even know when or how it happened!

When you're as klutzy as I am, it's not uncommon to notice suddenly bruises that you don't recall getting. I'm always tripping over, stepping on, or running into something! Most of these incidents don't even register in my brain unless/until an injury later appears. This one is a new low for me, though, because my toe is busted up pretty badly, so I must have banged it hard. It had to have hurt, seriously. But I didn't notice it until I woke up in the middle of the night with a crying baby. As I rocked him, it dawned on me that my toe was throbbing pretty intensely. I thought that was weird, but ignored the pain as best I could until I was asleep again.

The next morning, I took off my sock to identify the problem, and was surprised to see that my toenail was broken more than halfway across the middle, with some discoloration (bleeding?) underneath the bottom half of the nail. Um, ew. As far as busted toes go, it's not that bad (just google "busted toe" and you'll see how nasty this particular ailment can get!), but I'm squeamish enough that this is totally gross to me. I've tried to keep socks on 24/7 (except in the shower) while it heals so I don't have to look at it!

Healing is indeed happening, but it's happening really slowly. I've been afraid to run because I didn't want to increase pressure in the toe or risk the huge broken part of the nail being ripped off. Yes, I know that marathon runners often injure their toes worse than this and lose their nails in the course of their training or races, and it doesn't stop them. Does this make them better than me? Does it mean I'm a wimp? Yep, it sure does. And I'm okay with that. In fact, I might never take on the challenge of running a marathon precisely because I'm not tough enough to endure injuries like this and keep going. When it comes to blood and guts and pain, I'm a big ol' baby. I know this about myself, and I accept it as my cross to bear. Sometimes I have to tough it out through pain and yucky stuff (like c-section recovery! ick!), but the rest of the time I will avoid it whenever possible.

I hope to be able to attempt a slow jog sometime in the next couple of weeks. My current training program starts out with a few walking workouts, and I will just repeat that first week until the toe is ready to run. The first workout is scheduled for tonight! Here's hoping I still have a toenail by the end of it.

Taking Inventory (Weekly Summary)

It's inventory time here at Might As Well Tri! The first step to holding myself accountable for my choices is taking stock of where I am right now. I've taken pride in owning my number before, and even though I'm not proud of my current stats, I can't hide from them either. So here goes!

Weight: 219 lbs.
Weekly Change: N/A
Overall Change: N/A, though I've gained 12 lbs post pregnancy, leaving me only 5 lbs below my highest pregnancy weight. :-(
Next goal weight: 214 (because getting started is so hard, and the first 5 pounds lost should be celebrated!)
BMI: 31.4 (obese) (using this calculator)
Waist Circumference: 39 inches
Disease Risk: Very High (according to this chart)
Jeans Size: 20
Total Workouts: 0
Total Running Time: 0
Total Running Distance: 0
Longest Single Run: N/A
Progress on Training Plan(s): Getting ready to start this Couch to 5K program again. Once I've made some progress, I'll decide whether to stick with this program or change to another one.
Next Event Goal: I'm not going to choose a specific event yet, because I still have a long way to go as far as just making regular exercise part of my routine. When I'm ready to select an event, I'll start with a 5K and figure the rest out from there. I plan to write a whole post about my goals very soon.
Next Week's Goals: Since I'm basically starting from the beginning all over again, my only real goal for this week is to do something, anything more than I've been doing! Just one workout will suffice. I'm aiming for a short treadmill walk on Tuesday or Wednesday night.

By way of comparison, my lowest pre-baby weight this time around was 184 lbs, which made my BMI 26.4 (overweight). My size 16 jeans were baggy and I was thinking about trying to squeeze into the 14's sometime soon. I was running at least 3x per week and completed my first 10K just after finding out I was pregnant. So I undid a lot of hard work, not just during my pregnancy but also in the eight sedentary months since.

I'm definitely frustrated with myself for letting all this happen. Once upon a time, I was incredibly motivated to get right back into running as soon as I could, and I'm disappointed that I didn't make it happen. And I also did the main thing I did NOT want to do, which was gain weight back again after the baby was born. But I'm sticking to my New Year's Resolution and I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm just going to make it right, starting NOW!

Accountability

Lots of talk and very little action -- that would describe accurately my efforts in the fitness department ever since my baby was born. I'd like to change that, but I think I need to start holding myself accountable for my choices if I'm going to have any success.

In the past I have shunned paying too much attention to numbers and quantifiable measures of progress. As I've told you before, I'm a person who goes to extremes, so if I start looking too closely at numbers, the danger is that I will soon begin to OBSESS over those numbers. I don't want to become that myopic about my health and lose sight of the big picture. But with my personality, trying not to obsess over numbers leads to the opposite extreme of ignoring them completely. I make a zillion excuses for why my weight is so high and my pants are so large and I exercise approximately zero times per week.

When I'm not being way too hard on myself, I'm being WAY TOO EASY on myself instead.

Until I get my bad habits under control and re-introduce self-discipline to my life, I'm going to have to monitor my progress in quantifiable ways. I enjoyed doing weekly updates during and just after pregnancy, so I'm going to try that again. On Sunday nights or Monday mornings, I will post a quick summary of my stats, including my weight and any loss/gain, my jeans size (the horror!), number of workouts, total running time/distance, longest run, and progress on whatever training program I'm using. Can you think of anything else I should monitor? Maybe my waist measurement, since that number can be a good indicator of risk for Type 2 Diabetes? I could also include how much sleep I get, since I need to work on consistently getting a healthy amount. All feedback is welcome!

My promise to myself is that I will use all of this information to motivate me to stop making excuses and make progress instead. I will NOT use it to berate myself over every little shortcoming and failure. I'm determined to find a happy medium here, and hold myself accountable without going to extremes!

The Lent Diet

Have you ever noticed how many people, women especially, give up some sort of junk food for Lent? I suspect for many of us our goal is physical as much as it is spiritual. We're supposed to give something up, so why not choose something we know we need to cut back on anyway, and then hope to shed a few pounds in the process? It's win-win, right?

Except, in my experience, the "Lent Diet" is often lose-lose instead, and what is lost is not always weight. The (many) times that I have tried this approach to Lent, the healthier eating was never established as a permanent habit. I'd either replace one sort of junk food with another (I gave up french fries, so I'll just eat TWO cheeseburgers instead! I can't eat chocolate, so I'll just switch to vanilla ice cream or cake instead!), or go on a rampage of overindulgence again as soon as the period of deprivation was over.

So I usually failed at Lent all around, losing zero weight and gaining zero spiritual fulfillment. A sacrifice that is selfish in nature is no sacrifice at all. As long as I was thinking mostly about how the "Lent Diet" would benefit ME, I wasn't giving any part of myself to God, or connecting my experience to the suffering and death of Jesus. I had it all wrong, and once I realized that, I stopped doing the "Lent Diet" completely. In recent years, though I've continued to give up food items some years, I've tried to stay focused on the meaning behind my sacrifice, that it's about HIM and not me.

PLEASE NOTE: I'm not saying this makes me a better person or a better Catholic than anyone else. Faith is not a competition. Only God is keeping score, and it's possible for everyone to win. :)

What I'm saying here is that once upon a time, I used Lent as a way to jump-start the diet that I already wanted to do. Then I reached a point in life where I wanted Lent to be a truly spiritual experience, and stopped using it for personal gain. And I'm bringing it all up today because this year I've decided to reinvent the Lent Diet!

See, I've realized that the desire to lose weight and get fit and healthy is not necessarily selfish. It certainly can be, if all we really want is to be cute and have people tell us how awesome and attractive we are. But there many unselfish reasons for wanting to be healthy, including being able to take care of our families, and also simply appreciating the gift of life and respecting the bodies that God has given us!

To that end, I'm going to use Lent this year to start ridding myself once again of some of my unhealthy habits. I'm starting with late night desserts, a bad habit I've been indulging in for over a year now. I eat dinner around 6pm with my family, and then stay up until midnight or later, so I'm usually hungry for a snack around 9 or 10pm. From now on, if I have to eat something after 9pm, it will be a small portion of something healthy. I don't expect this one small change to cause the pounds to start dropping off or anything like that. What I hope to gain from this sacrifice is a gradual change in my attitude toward food. I want to stop using sweets as a way of coping with stress or tiredness, and start being more mindful of my diet overall. If I start by working on just one of my bad habits, hopefully soon I'll be back on track mentally to really work on improving my health.

I do plan to pray when I am tempted, and remind myself of the greater purpose behind this and every act of self-sacrifice. I also plan to take on one or two other Lenten commitments that are even more spiritual in nature -- I just haven't quite finished figuring them out yet...

Think of me tonight around 10pm as I lick the last bit of buttercream frosting from my fork...then let the Lent Diet begin!

The Fog Has Lifted

Oops! I sure didn't intend to be MIA for more than a month, but I'm bursting back into your lives on a ray of sunshine! I'm thrilled to tell you that the dark clouds of sadness are behind me, and I'm feeling about a million times better than I did in the fall!

The truth is I've been feeling better for a while now, but I didn't want to say anything about it lest I jinx myself. Fear of relapse hung over my head like an aura of impending doom. When I was first coming to grips with what was going on inside my head, I was dreading the holiday season. It's common knowledge that the holidays can be difficult if you're dealing with stress or sadness. I've struggled through the holidays with grief before, and was not looking forward to a similar season of sadness.

Then an amazing thing began to happen -- as I lowered my expectations of holiday joy, and embraced the truest causes for celebration (my faith and my family), I started to feel okay. I didn't feel GREAT...but I felt okay. And I felt a teensy bit more okay each day. As much as I'd wanted to hide from the world when I was at my lowest point, I decided to take a "fake it till you make it" approach, and force myself to go through the motions of everyday life. Surprise! This approach actually worked, and the more I thrust myself into holiday preparations, the more I felt the season's cheer. I had a very merry and blessed Christmas, and I thank God for granting me that grace.

Unfortunately, the fear of relapse still lingered. Even though I embraced the new year with optimism and a very positive resolution, I worried that once the holidays were over, the bleak, dark winter would seep into my psyche and bring me back down. Maybe the mild weather worked in my favor (though I have been longing for a good snow!), because somehow I never did slip back into the darkness! Instead I have continued to gain strength and return to what I would consider a "normal" state of mind.

I still have bad days, and stress, and feel overwhelmed at times, but it all has a very different feel to it than it did last fall. I realize fully how "off" things were then, compared to how much more clear my head is now. There are days when I'm feeling down or grumpy, and all of a sudden I have this moment of clarity where I realize that my thoughts are not completely irrational and I don't feel CRAZY! Then I get so happy about not feeling crazy that I just have to smile, before resuming my perfectly normal bad mood.

Life is good, and I am thankful.

So now it's time to get back on track in all the ways in which I had come undone. This year, in addition to focusing on my highest priorities of faith and family, I will be working on making my finances more stable, my home cleaner, and my life more organized. What I'm doing differently now is tying all of these facets of my life in with my health (instead of making health/fitness its own, lower-priority category). I want to take a more integrated approach to my health, because it's so important, and so interrelated with everything else. When you feel good physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, etc., you are better equipped to handle any curveballs that life throws your way. Meanwhile, it's easier to make your health a priority when you feel confident that other aspects of your life are not spiralling out of control.

From here forward, this blog is going to cover more topics than just exercise or weight loss. I'm still going to talk about those things, but I'm also going to include my thoughts on an array of other subjects. I still want the focus to be health, so I'm not going to start posting a bunch of random junk. Well, it might be junk, but it won't be completely random. ;-) Just don't be surprised to see posts on such topics as teaching kids good nutrition, healthy ways to deal with stress, or how I incorporate prayer into my fitness routine, just to name a few examples off the top of my head. I hope to write much more often, and I'll try to include more pictures and graphics to make the blog more visually interesting. As always, I will welcome your comments and feedback.

Oh yeah....and I'm still aiming for a triathlon, so don't think I've given up my dream! I'll post again soon about my event goals for 2012. I hope to "tri" sometime this year! I might as well, right? :)

Be Good to Yourself

We are moments away from a brand-new year, and so many of us are full of hope for a fresh start. But the truth is there is no magical "reset" button we can push at midnight. Our lives don't automatically change with the changing of the calendar. Despite our hopes and dreams, most of us will wake up on January 1st to the same worries and sorrows that plagued us at the previous year's end.

We all know this dismal truth, yet most of us approach the new year with optimism anyway, hoping that just maybe this will be the year when FINALLY we'll make some changes!

Do you make resolutions? I always do. Mine just keep getting more numerous and detailed each year -- a complex outline of all the ways I'd like to improve myself over the next 12 months. Many of the goals are attainable, but the idea that I can accomplish them all in one year is a little absurd. Hey, it's no secret that I like to punish myself with unrealistic expectations!

This past year I have discovered, painfully, how damaging that habit can be. I have excelled at one thing: being way too hard on myself. I think I'm ready to get off the path of self-destruction and get back on the road to good health (mental and physical), but my map will not be an outline detailing zillions of things that I need to do better. This time I'm starting with a simple resolution, one that I recommend to everyone: BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!!

I think sometimes we try to take care of ourselves but go about it in all the wrong ways. I'm not talking about seeking instant bliss through spending money we don't have on things we don't need, or eating too much of things that are terrible for us, etc. Those happy moments are fleeting and we are left fundamentally no better off than we were before.

The true "good" that we can do for ourselves is showing the same kindness, mercy, and compassion that we try to show others. It's okay to love yourself. Really, it is! It's not selfish or arrogant or conceited to love yourself the way God loves, or the way a mother loves. You can be aware of your shortcomings and strive to do better without hating yourself for being a failure. You and I are not failures. We are imperfect, and also perfectly lovable.

So my challenge to you and to myself for 2012 is just to be good to yourself, all the time, every chance you get. Be your own best friend and biggest fan. Your problems might stay the same, but they'll be a thousand times easier to handle if you are feeling loved and valued. And you might be surprised at everything else you can accomplish if you start with treating yourself right!

A friend once recommended that I listen to Journey to lift my spirits during a rough patch, and in turn I leave you with these lyrics:

"Lookin' back with no regrets
To forgive is to forget
I want a little piece of mind to turn to
Be good to yourself when no one else will
Oh be good to yourself."

Happy New Year!

Burning Cookies Instead of Calories

In the spirit of expanding my definition of "workout," I'm going to ignore the fact that I ran only once last week, and celebrate the fact that I spent all weekend exercising. For nearly two whole days I was on my feet, baking lots of holiday goodies! My heart rate never really went up very high, but my muscles sure are sore today!

Granted, I probably consumed more calories than I burned. After all, each finished product had to be sampled as part of my rigorous quality-control procedures. Some of the ingredients had to be sampled as well, and of course there were beaters to be licked...

Okay, so my kitchen marathon probably did nothing at all to improve my physical health, but it was more active than sitting in front of the television, and it helped me get into the holiday spirit, so I'm counting it as positive in the mental health area. It really did seem to help my mood...yesterday I was tired and overwhelmed by the crazy kids, but I managed to keep my mood in neutral until the end of the day, and even ended on a cheerful note after more baking once the kids were in bed. I call that success!

This week I'm going to make a little more effort to find time for that elusive second run (after accomplishing the first run, that is), and hopefully a few days off work will help with scheduling. If I fail, well then I'll just have to find a way to make wrapping presents into a workout....

Happy Holidays, everyone! :)

Here's Where It Gets Tricky

Hooray for me -- I ran last night! It felt great, physically and emotionally. And I feel optimistic about being able to squeeze in some other workout by the end of the week.

So it's all good, right? WRONG. I was so exhausted after running that by the time the baby finally went down for the night, I was no longer functional and fell asleep with a lengthy to-do list left undone. Today I woke up feeling guilty about getting "nothing" done last night, even though running really should count as "something." That's what I've got to make myself believe -- that taking care of myself is a worthwhile use of my time, as important as many of the other tasks on my seemingly endless lists!!

This is a bad time of year to try to find extra time for something like exercise, but it's also a bad time of year to be miserable, so I have no choice. I don't know how to get it all done. I don't even know if I CAN get it all done. It's time to get pickier about priorities, and make sure my well-being isn't the very lowest one.

I do still feel optimistic about being able to get in another workout this week, but I expect to engage in a mental struggle to postpone some other task in order to do it. If exercise wins that struggle, I hope that I will feel proud of myself instead of guilty!

Too Little

As great as it felt to run last week, it's not going to have the desired effect if I can't keep it up.

I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I really don't know any other way. I think I've proven time and again that I'm lousy at cutting myself any slack. If you know the secret of how not to hold oneself to impossible standards, please share it with me!

The truth is I accomplished what I set out to do. I made ONE workout my goal for last week, since that would be one more than any of the previous weeks. I set the bar low, and I achieved my goal. Initially I felt GREAT about it, and even dabbled in a teensy bit of optimism that my plans for feeling better just might work.

Running was such a positive experience that I couldn't wait to repeat it, and hoped to go for another run on Thursday...or Friday...or sometime over the weekend. Unfortunately, life got in the way, as it so often does. My determination has not created magical pockets of free time in my busy schedule...go figure! The fact that it's the holiday season only complicates matters further.

It makes perfect sense that I was unable to squeeze in another run, and yet I've spent the day beating myself up over it anyway. I've been pretty down all day, and at times I found myself blaming it on my lack of running. So now I'm seeing how my plans might backfire on me. When I can't manage to get in a workout, not only am I missing out on all the positive benefits of exercise, but I'm also dealing with yet another reason to feel like a failure. UGH. I don't know the solution. I guess I just have to try harder to find the time, because one run a week is just not going to be enough.

My goal for this week is 2 workouts. Wish me luck.

A Conversation With My Treadmill

Tuesday night, around 9:00pm.

Treadmill (TM): Well HEY, haven't seen you in AGES! You dropped in a few times in September, but other than that I've just been collecting dust down here! Are you back to stay now, or what?

Me: Dude. It hasn't been the easiest few months. But YES, I'm back to stay. No promises you won't collect a teensy bit of dust between visits though. I mean, we do have cats living here, and they shed...

TM: Okay, whatevs, hop on!

Me: Yeah, let's do this!

TM: Oof! Yikes, you might want to lay off the late night desserts, lady.

Me: Shut it. Chocolate helps me cope. I do plan to ease up a bit soon, though. And I mean soon like early 2012. You can't expect me to shun sweets during the friggin' holidays.

TM: Fine, fine. Lucky for you I have a pretty high weight limit. Sooo....you want to walk any faster than that? I'm pretty sure you walked faster than that when you were 8 months pregnant. Just sayin'.

Me: I am WARMING. UP. Sheesh. Who do you think you are, Jillian Michaels?

TM: Hey, somebody's gotta motivate your lazy butt. I kid, I kid! You're doing great!!

Me: *silence, as I am breathing too hard to talk anymore*

TM: So, uh, you've been working pretty hard. That's a lot of running for your first time in a while. Wouldn't you like to walk a bit? Doesn't walking feel good?

Me: *pant* Yes, *pant* walking *pant* feels *pant* good. *pant pant pant* But you know what else feels good? SUCCESS! One more run!!!

After a total of 10 minutes of running, broken up with walk breaks...

TM: You did it! You accomplished your fitness goal for the week! How do you feel?

Me: Tired. Fantastic. Sore. And a teensy bit concerned that I spent my workout carrying on a conversation with a piece of exercise equipment.

TM: Touche. Get some rest. And please come visit me again soon! It's spooky down here in the dark.

Our next visit tentatively schedule for Thursday or Friday night...

Paving the Road to Hell

Despite my best intentions, I have not followed the plan I set out in my last entry. I have made zero progress on my sleep/nutrition/exercise regimen, and I believe I am suffering the consequences.

At first I thought I was getting along pretty well with the other facets of my plan. The prayers were flowing, and I was drawing strength from all the support I received after posting to my blog. I wouldn't say I was feeling good, but I was definitely okay, which was a marked improvement. I guess that improvement wasn't built to last.

The weekend was rough. My 6-year-old son has some serious behavior problems and anger management issues, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to teach him how to handle his emotions when I cannot handle my own! He had a few intense tantrums, but I may have had even more emotional meltdowns than he did, and some of them were not even triggered by anything major. I just can't cope with anything anymore! When the kids get noisy, I tense up, and the mess in my house makes me feel like I'm suffocating. Am I losing my mind???

Lately I have found myself wishing that I had never had kids at all. Isn't that an awful thing to think? I'm not going to go all Andrea Yates on my boys...I do love them and I would never purposely hurt them. But I feel like I'm not cut out for this motherhood thing and maybe it was all a huge mistake. My kids deserve better than what I'm capable of giving them right now.

I need to try harder to get my head on straight, but I just don't have the energy. I wish I could sleep for about a week and then wake up completely re-energized and ready to tackle all my problems!!!! Since that is not an option, all I can do is just try to get through one day at a time. I really don't know when or even if things will ever get better. I'm feeling really pessimistic today. I think I'll blame it on the clouds. Gloomy weather just makes me more gloomy as well.

Okay, I need an action plan so I can feel like I'm doing something rather than just sitting here hating the world and feeling sorry for myself. My goal is to go for a run (well, a walk/run) tomorrow evening after the kids are in bed. I will hand the baby off to my husband and head down to the treadmill for at least 30 minutes of taking care of ME. I'll let you know whether it helps!